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Quotes


[Pauly, Eric, and Buddy are camping out in the forest with Pauly's father, Rudy Landrum]
Buddy: And we learned the other day about Quenton's challenge and the stunt lady's treasure.
Eric: And we decided to come out here and get rich. ♪ Gonna be rich, gonna be rich... ♪
Eric and Buddy: (both clapping enthusiastically to the rhythm) ♪ Gonna be rich, gonna be rich, gonna be rich, gonna be ri- ♪
Rudy: HOLD IT!!! (Eric and Buddy stop) Are you part of this, Pauly?
Eric: Uh, technically...
Buddy: Yes. Yes, he is.
Rudy: Well, you're not going. Not one of you two lunatics or you either Pauly. That apartment complex is dangerous, nothing but death traps inside. Grown men go into that abandoned apartment and never see the light of day again. There are hallways that go in different directions on different floors. The walls are rotten, the staircases are cracked, the whole building could come collapsing down on you and kill you immediately, or keep you trapped in there so you would die a slow death. You know what it's like to suffocate? I'm not gonna sit here and let you kill yourself.
Pauly: Dad, you're traumatizing them.
Kev: You should be traumatized! That complex has many entrances and exits, you can go in through a door on one side of a room, come out through another on the opposite side. And if the apartment doesn't kill you itself, the animals will. There's a half of dozen different kinds of contagious shrews in there, killer wasps as big as your fingers, and an occasional guard dog.
Buddy: Dog?
Rudy: Yep! And in that complex, there are machine guns hidden inside the walls that could pop out and unload at you any second. Be over my dead body before I let you set foot in that death trap. How did you ever agree to do this?
Pauly: I know what I'm doing. If you ever see something that doesn't look safe, then back off.
Rudy: Well, you're still not going.


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